I’m a bad mother…but not as bad as some

So, I bought The D a fedora a couple of days ago.  Black with a bit of a pinstripe, and a slight sheen.  And then, to top it off, we dyed the front of her hair purple.  I’m pretty sure someone somewhere thinks I’m a bad mother.  But I figure she’s 13…a good time to dye one’s hair an unnatural color.  I mean, it’s summer.  And she’s too young for job-hunting, and really, why not?  It’s cute and she likes it, and maybe, just maybe, it will help with the trich.  A mother can hope.

But then there was the mother at the mall the other day.  Oh, my.  The aging mean girl and her mean-girl-in-training daughters.  Mom with her too-tight jeans, sky-high heels, fake everything…and she had the nerve to tell me that The D’s purple hair was ‘irresponsible’ of me.  How about allowing your daughter, who was, perhaps, the same age as The D, to wear something that small, that tight?  You’ve taught her that she is her looks, her sexuality…and by the way, I overheard your conversation, and yes, I picked up the comment about how she couldn’t get a boob job until she was 18.  Why not tell her her breasts are fine the way they are, and that you’re happy with her the way she is?  What are you teaching your daughter?  That to be loved, she must be what you, or even worse, what some man, wants her to be?  What if she ends up not liking men at all?  Will you disown her?  Drag her to church (indeed, it was hard to miss the giant begemmed cross on your well-tanned and voluminous cleavage)?  Put her a re-education camp a la But I’m a Cheerleader?  Well? 

My daughter is beautiful, purple hair, trich, ADHD and all.  She is creative and funny and silly and smart and empathetic and goofy and wonderful.  Do I sometimes deplore her increasingly black wardrobe, her love of manga, and her incredibly messy room?  Sure.  But her good qualities outshine her bad, and her body, funky bangs and knock knees, zits and tiny feet — they are all beautiful.  And even more important, her soul is beautiful.

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Published in: on June 17, 2009 at 10:34 pm  Leave a Comment  

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